Breaking Down the Snow Cat Video

April 25, 2014

My beautiful, talented, gorgeous friend, Claire, shared a video with the accompanying message, “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS YOU MUST WATCH NOW.”

If you are a Facebook user (and really, how many of us aren’t), chances are you are aware of this addition to the found-footage horror genre.  If not, feel free to watch the video above.

However, if you don’t have 48 seconds to spare, allow me to break it down for you.

2

The video opens with what appears to be a Neanderthal in footie pajamas kicking snow at a cat for 10 seconds.  As the cat backs towards what appears to be the Neanderthal’s outdoor water supply, the Neanderthal shuffles forward, kicking more snow onto the visibly irritated cat.

3

With supernatural powers that can only be explained by the powers of Satan, the victimized cat suddenly leaps onto the prehistoric woman’s face like one of those fucking egg-layers from the Alien movies.  Right on her face!

Typically, I question the use of my prepositions.  It is an unfortunate weakness of mine, but I am damn certain of my choice of “onto” and “on” because that is exactly where that little beast latched.

4

What follows is a brief dance number worthy of the most violent of juggalo mosh pits.  As the unholy feline clings tightly to her low and well-defined brow, Early Woman thrashes like her face is on fire.

5

But before you can say, “May the power of Christ compel you,”  Footy Pajama is shoveling snow with her face.

I may not be as adept in choreography as Bruno Tonioli, but I give this number a 7.  It would have been higher if she threw in a Macarena or a moonwalk.

6

Once on her feet, Cro-Magnon chunks the grimalkin like a handicapped, discus Olympian… 

7

…and walks away clutching her freshly, mangled cranium as if trying to shut out the voices in her head that taunted her into kicking snow at a demon-possessed pussy in the first place.

8

The cat clearly looks prepared for round 2; however, the troglodyte trudges for cover in her double-wide mobile home (probably to call her preacher).

This video not only taught me that cats pack a mean can of whoop-ass, but also…

9

…that man’s best friend clearly doesn’t give a shit.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. Richard Will Make You Slap Somebody « The Reluctant Cat Owner's Journal - July 21, 2014

    […] done it again. She has introduced me to another video I can’t stop watching. She started with this one, followed it up with this one, and now the one I want to share with you […]

    Like

  2. “You Can’t Outdo Black People.” « The Reluctant Cat Owner's Journal - June 11, 2014

    […] and FULL of awesome, she finds the best videos online. She was the one that introduced me to the snow cat video a while back before it was popular (click the bold text if you need to […]

    Like