The Hazards of Flirting

April 28, 2014

There’s often misconception shouted from a mountaintop
That gay folks have this natural ability to shop.
These folks have obviously never seen or met my man
Whose fashion sense is lesser than the rest of the gay clan.

Because of this he requests my assistance in the store
To match clothes from his closet or inside his dresser drawer.
So off to Gap we go to shop one fine, hot summer day
where I waste the afternoon to answer, “Does this look okay?”

To entertain myself, I like to irritate my man
So while he tries on clothing, through the Gap store I will scan
In search of dainty attire like a dress or cute thigh highs,
And toss them over saying, “You should try this on for size.”

On this particular day, I found such a gaudy belt.
I grabbed it and rushed to the changing room my Partner dwelt.
I snickered before tossing it over the change room door.
And telling Partner, “Girl, you gotta try this on for sure.”

I stood on my tiptoes and peered into the dressing room
where Partner tried on pants.  At least that was what I assume.
Instead, I see a naked man of whom I’m unacquainted.
Thank God that this man’s back was turned away or I’d have fainted.

I yelped and bolted my ass out of the store quick as Hell
And fearing that they’d throw my bitch ass inside a mall jail.
So let this be a lesson if you are an extrovert,
Be careful of the dangers that develop when you flirt.