My First Crush

May 14, 2014

In 1984, if you lived in the country, you needed a large satellite dish in your yard if you wanted to watch “cable.”

And you had to go outside and crank a handle to rotate it.

And you had to go outside and crank a handle to rotate it.

One boring summer afternoon, I was sitting by the TV, manually rotating the dial of the receiver, looking for something good to watch.

In my day, if you wanted to change the channel, you had to get off your butt and do it yourself.

In my day, if you wanted to change the channel, you had to get off your butt and do it yourself.

 

This was during a time before premium channels were scrabbled, so I grew up watching a plethora of R-rated movies on HBO, Cinemax, The Movie Channel, etc. But on this lazy afternoon, it was the Disney Channel that stunned me. From the haze of white noise and static, a moving image took form that suddenly captured my attention in a way I had never felt before.

This image, I would later learn, was of Tron.

Cindy Morgan is cropped out of this photo on purpose.

Cindy Morgan was deliberately cropped out of this photo.

I was stunned, mesmerized by this man’s beautiful form outlined in a snug body suit. For the next hour or so, I was captivated not by the story or the cinematography but by Tron himself.

My puberty personified.

My puberty personified.

I felt something I had never felt before. If I remember correctly, it was a tingling sensation in my stomach that was both exciting and a little scary. I was suddenly in love with my very first male crush.

Again, that bitch Cindy has been removed from the image. Back off my man, Cindy.

Again, that bitch Cindy has been removed from the image. Back off my man, Cindy.

Feeling a little guilty about these new, naughty feelings, I never acted on how much I enjoyed watching the movie. You never found any Tron posters hanging in my bedroom, and I only watched the movie in private. For years, I fantasized about fighting Programs with Tron. At the end of a “game” we’d park out light cycles, he would take me in his arms, and we would so make out.

So here’s to Tron. My first love (even though he never answered any of my calls).

Who was your first crush?