The Baby Accessory Boom

June 2, 2014

Dear Bride with Baby on Your Train,

You have become very popular lately for your ground-breaking fashion. Who would have ever thought of accessorizing with babies? Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that this type of forward-thinking comes with its share of misanthropes. Don’t fret, though. People who think ahead of their time are always misunderstood. Tesla, Einstein, and now Carter-Brooks.

I just wanted to share my sympathies and hopefully get in on your new fashion enterprise. I mean, I hope I’m not coming across as a braggart, but I think I have ideas that can take your vision to another level. This blogging thing really isn’t paying the bills. I’m desperate for the extra income.

Below are just a few examples of the designs that I have come up with (modeled by yours truly):

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The Baby Necklace – This unisex accessory is perfect for the working man or woman and goes well with business and formal attire. However, it has a tendency to turn blue after only a short while, but I’m sure we can figure out what’s causing this together.

 

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The Baby Bootie – Not only are these shoes fashionable, they are also functional. “Wow” your friends with a pair while experiencing the soft comfort that fits snug on any foot. I’m sure we can figure out how to make the foot not so muddy-looking after taking them off.

 

The Hatted Baby Hat: Elegant. Powerful. Sophisticated. These are just a few of the words that will be used to describe this cranial work of art. Timing is everything, though, as the Hatted Baby Hat has a tendency to vomit, piss, or shit on your head if worn too soon after being fed.

The Hatted Baby Hat – Elegant. Powerful. Sophisticated. These are just a few of the words that will be used to describe this cranial work of art. Timing is everything, though, as the Hatted Baby Hat has a tendency to vomit, piss, or shit on your head if worn too soon after being fed.

 

If you are interested in seeing more, please feel free to contact me. I will be happy to discuss a business arrangement over coffee at The Peabody.

Sincerely,

Cary