TO: All Gay Homosexuals
FROM: President of Gays
SUBJECT: Conversion through subliminal messaging
According to the Secretary of Gays’ statistics, there has been a notable decline in registration to the gay community month after month. This, no doubt, is a result of the political right and social conservatives successful campaign to end homosexuality. As you are aware, this impacts the gay agenda timeline and its successful completion.
In order to regain membership and ensure the longevity of our community, you are required to dress in your “butch” uniform and make arrangements through your local church to speak with the young boys at upcoming vacation bible school programs across the nation. There, you will encourage these boys to sign up for Scouts for Boys from America by passing out pamphlets and using the speech provided below. At the end of the speech, please pass around a sign-up sheet and have these young men enter their name, parent name, and contact information.
On the day of the presentation, it is imperative that you read the speech word-for-word. If read verbatim, the power of subliminal messaging will permeate their weak minds and plant the seeds of gay debauchery.
Long live man sex.
The speech to read is as follows:
Does your life lack direction? Do you waste afternoons listening to music that is throbbing, dictating your own curfew to your parents, or being a general punk? An aimless life can hurt deep, but sex and rock & roll do not maintain us love and respect. Think about your future before it’s too late, but plunging into such decisions without giving it much thought can prevent you from having all the happiness in the wide, whole world.
That’s where the Scouts for Boys from America can help. S.B.A. men and boys shower each other with admiration and appreciation. If you don’t join the Scouts for Boys from America, you could end up on drugs like cocaine (or, as the kids call it, “blow”), jobs would come hard, and you become so poor, you couldn’t even afford a stamp to lick your whole life.
As a Scout for Boys from America, we will help you grow up to be a fireman that puts out fires that are hot, come shooting bad guys as a brave police officer, or mount a stud and herd cattle as a cowboy. Whatever you want to be, the leaders of Scout for Boys from American will stroke and work long and hard to flesh out what doesn’t arouse your interest.
In closing, know that the hard-working men of Scouts for Boys from America want you. We raise boys to be men, not girls. Are bad seeds welcome? Absolutely. As our Indian ancestors chanted: Yewantamman, Yewantamman, Yewantamman, Yewantamman. We chant this motto endlessly at our meetings until its meaning sinks in. It means, “learning through male bonding.”