Be True To Yourself…Within Reason

May 26, 2015 — 7 Comments

Inspirational quotes such as “be what you want to be” or “be yourself no matter what others think” should not apply to all behaviors. Sure, inspiration to be yourself works great when overcoming odds, but motivational phrases can also inspire poor judgement when heard by the wrong ears. A person fighting against societal “norms” so that he can wear a dress in public is not the same as a downtrodden reprobate with pedophilic impulses.

pedobear be yourselfTake my deaf cat, Zoe, for example. She is not a pedophile but was recently inspired to be a model thanks to an Australian teen by the name of Maddy Stuart. Maddy has Down Syndrome, but she isn’t allowing her handicap to dictate her limitations. In my opinion, Maddy would be an excellent model. But unlike Zoe, Maddy put in a lot of work and dedication into losing weight and updating her image. Zoe, influenced only by the desire to be famous, believes all it takes is a few pictures, and she, too, will be a model with thousands of loyal Instragam followers.

She understands that her cerebellar hypoplasia prevents her from strutting down a runway in Milan but believes that the medium of still photography is advantageous to her poor motor skills, providing a unique portfolio of interesting and nontraditional poses. I, on the other hand, strongly believe that nobody will hire a model who can’t even hold her head steady.

Driven by my belief that she’ll never be a supermodel, she hired a photographer to prove me wrong. A few snapshots from her repertoire are below.

5-21-2015 2-35-02 PM

This shot required most of the afternoon. She was on her hind legs for a total of two seconds before falling back to all fours.

 

5-21-2015 2-24-41 PM

As you can probably determine from this picture, Zoe had difficulty aiming the letter in the mail slot even though she used her left arm to brace herself against the mailbox. Her mouth is open because she was frustrated and in the midst of yelling, “God damn it!” This shot also took three hours.

 

5-21-2015 2-39-23 PM

You cannot tell, but since she is unable to stand on her hind legs for long, she is resting her ass on a shelf. Unfortunately, her upper body has the stability of a toddler, and thus she fell to her right. This was captured just before she landed on her head. Her left shoe flipped off her foot and ended up dangling by the ankle strap. They didn’t get a shot of that, though.

 

5-21-2015 2-08-45 PM

No comment.

 

Let today’s lesson teach you to be true to yourself (and follow your dreams), but only if the end result is realistic.

7 responses to Be True To Yourself…Within Reason

  1. 

    I was nearly yodeling seeing these pics. So cool! 😀 😀

    Like

  2. 

    I just pissed myself. Or I cried. Either way, happy liquid came out of me while I read this. Seriously, that last shot reminded me of why I became a plus-size ass model. I’ll do anything for sniffs.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 

    I suggest you take away her shoes. She’s gonna twist an ankle in shoes like that.
    -or-
    “In these shoes? I don’t think so”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 

    Brilliant! Google a French cartoon called Les Lapins Cretins (Cretin Rabbits)- I bet you could have a field day using some of their pictures. Here’s a good one: http://s1.e-monsite.com/2009/08/23/05/7617533725-3802-rayman-contre-les-lapins-cretins-jpg.jpg

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 

    Wow. She has really long legs for a cat.

    Liked by 1 person

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