Father’s Day Cards for the Unexpected Dad

June 1, 2015 — 18 Comments

Dear Journal,

Since 1938, retailers of men’s goods have shamelessly promoted recognition for the male authority figure in your life. In addition to ties, power tools, electronics, and other masculine merchandise, greeting cards are a popular method of expressing your feelings when you are incapable of coming up with words of your own. Most include a sentimental poem or a fart joke, but I have noticed one market that is disconcertingly overlooked: the father of an unexpected (and possibly unwanted) child.

Whether it be from a teen pregnancy or a drunken one-night stand, unplanned fatherhood is common. I only assume that this neglected niche is a result of shame or embarrassment, but being one that is fearless (or tactless, depending on whom you ask) when addressing taboo topics, I don’t mind tapping into this demographic with specialty Father’s Day cards of their very own.

If you have a baby daddy in your life, feel free to share. The graphics and layout of these cards may not be Hallmark-worthy, but what do you expect when you’re reading a free website.

The left panel is the front of the card. The right panel is inside the card.

From best friend to baby daddy: 

6-1-2015 12-18-55 PM

From uncle/aunt to baby daddy: 

6-1-2015 12-54-53 PM

From disgruntled mother to baby daddy: 

6-1-2015 1-02-54 PM

From baby mama to baby daddy: 

6-1-2015 1-08-38 PM

From the angry father to baby daddy:

6-1-2015 12-04-10 PM

What do you think? Do I have a chance making enough money to retire on an untouched market?

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18 responses to Father’s Day Cards for the Unexpected Dad

  1. 

    I should totally give one of these to my husband for Father’s Day. It would definitely have to be #3. And I’d pretend it was a pregnancy announcement. We have zero kids. It’d freak him the fuck out. And I would love every second of it. OMG! I HAVE PLANS FOR FATHER’S DAY! I owe you a brunch!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 

    Actually, Hallmark should take a lesson from you : )

    Like

  3. 

    Freakin’ hysterical! There must be some card company that could pick these up.

    Like

    • 

      Years ago, I made “greeting” cards for friends. They very personal based on their specific situation and included an extremely clever poem. I called them Fabulous Sympathy cards. For some reason, I stopped doing them.

      Like

  4. 

    God, Cary—-those are hysterical!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 

    I’m dying! These are so damn funny! #2 and #4….*snort*

    Like

  6. 

    😀 Nice design! *grin*

    Like

  7. 

    Oh, dear LORD you might be sitting on a gold-mine there! Holy hell those were hilarious! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. 

    I dunno…. I think you’d give the card and then hit the deck or run for the hills (so you won’t get decked)! Funny as hell though! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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