Archives For gay marriage

Shit Scissors: A Poem

October 14, 2016 — 7 Comments

A tool that is mostly used to cut through Christmas paper,

Scrapbooking or shearing hair or even stab a raper.

Scissors in my home, though, are assigned a different duty:

Trimming out the dookie caked around my kitty’s booty.

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Dear Journal,

As of September 25, 2015, I have been married twice. The first to my wife in 1996. The second, my husband.  During the planning phase of both ceremonies, I felt as stressed as a homophobe receiving a mandatory prostate exam from a curious orangutan. However, preparation for the most recent ceremony caused an unexpected and unjust element of anxiety.

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Christians vs. Crazies

June 29, 2015 — 29 Comments

Christians are the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever known. And I know many Christians. Unfortunately, these friendly people are having their identity damaged by a growing number of mentally unstable individuals who believe that the only requirement of Christianity is self-proclamation. Between brags about their faith, the latter type practices behaviors that would make Jesus roll in His Heaven. I am here to tell you that these types of people are not Christians. They are Crazies.

I am not a Christian, but I am here to defend them because real Christians are wonderful role models for society. The Christians I know emulate who they believe Jesus Christ to be. After all, how else did a guy that claimed to be the son of God end up with such a large following? Was it by promising threats? Was it with bullying and name-calling? Was it because He was a scaremonger? No. That is what Crazies do.

It’s been a while since I last practiced Christianity as nowadays it seems this religion has more hostages than followers, but the stories I learned from the Bible in the first 26 years of my life are still very familiar. I am aware of the teachings and practices of Jesus Christ, the religion’s namesake; and Christianity, after all, is mirror the teachings and practices of Jesus Christ.

If you need help determining what Jesus would do, allow me to provide examples of what he wouldn’t do:

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Dear Rick Scarborough,

June 26, 2015 — 15 Comments

You have made a very dramatic statement about protesting gay marriage. Well, today love won.

I can’t begin to imagine the anger and frustration you must be experiencing right now (because, again, love won). It’s never easy not getting your way. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to politely remind you of a public statement you recently made: “We are not going to bow. We are not going to bend, and if necessary we will burn.”

Well, sir. I am calling your bluff.

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No 2 Gay Marrage

January 17, 2015 — 8 Comments

The following photo has been making the rounds among my Facebook friends:


What’s a “marrage”? Is that anything like a fake massage?

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